Reconciliation

I'm on vacation and it's 530 am. I'm looking at my life. Is it because of the new year beginning? Is it me slipping into middle age? Is it a mid life crisis? I'm not sure.

It's been such a weird last few years. After the "pandemic", we were supposed to step back into our pre-pandemic life and I found that I couldn't. My health was shot, and I had to change things. So I basically created a lot of havoc in my work life. Now I know I had my reasons for trying to leave my practice. I had a lot of resentments, which were valid, but in the end, all I really did was cause a lot of chaos. 

What I learned from it all is that home is home. You can't run away from it. It's ironic that I first learned this with my real life family. I left the IE for years, but ended up back home. Similarly, I tried to leave my mental health law practice a couple of years back in order to try and transition to appellate work (but never left public defense to be clear, it was just a shift within our office for a short time) and then, of course, ended up right back where I began. It was such an uneven time for me. Things have evened out thankfully. 

Yet, through all of this, I learned that I can try to heal myself and my relationships. I can sit in the peace. I can be happy. And everything can be okay.