Every year, I write a Thanksgiving blog. I've talked about how my memories of Thanksgiving revolve around my father and my remembrances of his Thanksgiving meals.
This is not that kind of piece. This has been the weirdest year: Covid, the election, working from home, starting a creative writing Masters program and a podcast. I don't really know what to say except that I'm thankful that I'm here. That my family is here.
What I guess I could also say is that I'm still grateful, but I'm feeling sad. I will miss seeing my sisters and family tomorrow. I miss concerts. I miss interacting with people like normal.
I have a dark side people rarely see and this pandemic has brought it out. Perhaps, I will have to make a conscious decision to go back to who I was. Because the one thing I've learned is that there is always light. Always. And, it's up to us to reach for that light.
Yesterday, I took the day off and woke up early and made my stuffing muffins. I chopped celery and apples and my mind went back to my dad again. I'm still missing him more than ever.
Feeling melancholy, I responded by finishing my homework for the week and the semester. Then I finished binging season one of The Crown.
At night, my husband and I made s'mores in the cold and listened to music. The sounds of INXS wafting in the air, I tapped my feet along to the beat.
Things are what we make of them and tomorrow, I pledge to make it a good day. A good day. I'll say it again. It will be a good day.
Now back to sleep I go. It's 3 am and what I didn't realize when I started writing this is that it's already Thanksgiving.
I am craving an expresso but will wait two hours at least to be civilized.
Happy thanksgiving my friends. Reach for the light.