Confession time, I am obsessed with Ru Paul. I am way late to the game, I know. But I've been binging everything drag race related since the pandemic panic began.
It has helped me in ways you can't imagine. Much like how I spoke on my last video podcast with my tarot card reading friend Gina, we must have confidence to succeed in life. Much of life is visualization and negative self talk is counter productive. Ru Paul reaffirms everything I knew in my head and heart about living one's dreams. Plus, I have a huge girl crush on Michelle Visage.
Recently, with everything I've been trying to accomplish, what I call my recent attempt to rule the world, I've been imaging it happening. I know we all want to rule the world, but I want it bad. (Had to give a Tears for Fears shout out...).
For example, I pictured myself on screen with guests, and guess what? It happened. I pictured myself looking and sounding epic. And, while everything is a work in progress, I have met my own high expectations.
Sometimes, not everything goes as planned. In producing my recent mass incarceration course for UCR, I had lighting and technical issues. I beat myself up mentally about it for about a week, and didn't sleep much.
But then I said to myself, you know technology is not your strong suit. That's why you have a producer on your own video podcast! But maybe you can fix most of this in the editing room and we did. Of course, it helps to have people you trust to help you. And I'm buying a Zoom light for my next production at a college next month. It's a learning experience and I will get better at the technology side. Trust.
What I am saying is, know your strengths. I know that my performance side is strong but that I must work extra hard on the asthetics. Hence, every podcast, I take my time doing my makeup and hair. I'm trying to work on my weight too.
It's my runway bitches!
The person inside of me is JEM you see. She's my drag persona in a way. Someone asked me recently if she is my alter ego. But I think she's really my best self.
JEM is the face I put out to the world. The confident identity who has opinions and a voice that the world needs to hear.
The sad and anxious girl stays out of the frame. The negative girl hides away.
JEM is all about love and positivity (along with music and dancing of course).
JEM is the culmination of many years of self work. She's the butterfly emerging from her cocoon. Finally. She's here. And, as a wise gorgeous person named Ru Paul once said, if you can't love yourself, how can you love anyone else?
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