Panorama of San Bernardino

Thursday, November 18, 2021

Awake

I feel as if I'm finally awake. These last weeks recovering have made me see life differently. I appreciate the moments.

Something has also happened with my relationships. They feel truer and deeper. 

Perhaps, showing my own vulnerability has made me more human to my family and friends. At times, I can be a bit much. I know this.

And sometimes, I get stuck. Last night, or I guess this morning technically because it was 2 am, I awoke and crawled out of bed. I've had issues in the middle of the night since my surgery. I sat in the guest room thinking, which is always dangerous.

Chewbacca licked my face and so I kissed his head. Then I thought to myself, get outta your head girl. Just start the doing again. Be in the moment and be free from anxiety. Write, work, love and live. That's your goal. Your mantra.

What I've awakened to is the realization that life is now. It's everything. Even now, writing this, I'm here. I'm doing. I'm being. And as long as I'm me, and true to who I am, nothing else matters. 

The body is our form, but our soul, our consciousness, that's who we are and why we're here. So I'm just gonna be here. Right now. 

Can you "see" me? I hope you do because I see you. 



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