There is an Altered Images song called “I Could Be Happy”. And I wonder, what would make me happy, today on my birthday? Don’t ask me how old. Past forty it really doesn’t matter.
I think happiness is contentment. And fulfillment. Feeling as if you accomplished your goals. And feeling loved. I definitely have the love. But, the realization of my goals is more fuzzy.
Sometimes, I wish I could be happy with what I’ve achieved. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job as a deputy public defender. And I’m grateful that my hard work paid off putting myself through UCR and USC Law. I get paid to help people.
But there are two things that nag at me. Two things that are always on the outer reaches of my mind.
The book and baby. Which will I accomplish? Neither, or one or both? Sometimes, dreams are surreal. The reality of it may look different. But I want these dreams to come true. I really do.
The book may be something different than I ever imagined, including memoir essays, film like scenes and poetry. Mixed genre. And maybe the baby will not be a baby but an older child.
And, then maybe, I could finally be happy.
No comments:
Post a Comment