Place and space

I've been thinking a lot about my creative writing places and spaces. I write this blog. I write essays and articles for literary journals, newspapers and magazines. I write for school and post on Moodle in my MFA class. I write out everything for my podcast. It's not a strict script, but more of a roadmap.

I've written two books that appear in various places. My favorite place to imagine my book is in someone's hands. I imagine people squinting into them while reading in bed or in the bathtub the way I do. 

But my favorite place, writing wise, is in my head. My best essays or stories start out with me just thinking about them, for days at times. I've always been a daydreamer, but sometimes, I'll be at lunch eating a sandwich and an idea or a phrase will flit through my mind. I sometimes text these things to myself. Like a grocery list of literary musings.

When I can find some free time, I'll sit and think for five minutes about how to structure a piece. What I need most to write is just space. Space literally and figuratively. I don't always get it. I'm a bit anxious and its hard to turn off my brain. And it's been hectic at work. Yesterday, I really didn't take a breath all day. So many clients on in the morning and I worked through lunch and stayed late to finish my notes and got home at 7 pm spent. Fell into bed. Those kind of days don't lead to much. But my weekends. That's another story. I still wake up early as usual but I don't feel that anxiety of a work day. I sip my coffee. Relax. Then I let the words come.

As I said, many of my best pieces start out in my head and come out almost fully formed. I'd been thinking about what to write for a week for my first piece for the current nonfiction workshop I'm in. After a couple false starts, I just kept ruminating on it. 

Then Saturday, it all came out. Like water from a tap. I sat and wrote 14 pages in an hour or two. My fingers could barely keep pace with my mind. I never edit when I'm flowing and glowing like this. It feels special so I just go with it. I don't even fix spelling (although I'm a naturally good speller having read so many books as a kid that I just know a lot of words). I don't want anything to block me. After, I feel spent. But so happy. And free. 

That's what I want to stress here. Writing for me is a joy. It's my bliss. My purpose. And that's where I am right now friends. Night. Or actually good morning world, it's 435 am. I'm going to go watch the sun rise.