Stop

I can't sleep. I can't dream. I just lay here staring at the ceiling.

Man, sometimes I want the world to stop. I'm running again. It's exhausting. Telling myself to slow down the hamster wheel hasn't worked. Someone needs to stop the roll.

Then I think, the world only slows down when you need it to. Do I need to slow it down? They say if you're asking the question, you already know the answer. So yes, I do. 

But how? Stop. Hold still. Keep inhaling. Exhaling. Again. 

Last night, I took the dogs out and there were so many stars in the sky. All of the constellations blinked at me as if to say. Look at us.

I stared up at the blue velvet blanketed sky. My anxiety was overwhelming me, but in the minute I took to just stare at the stars, I took a few deep breaths in and out. I asked the universe to help me and show me how to bring everything to a manageable pace. But really, we all know this, I was just telling myself, reminding myself, and asking myself, to take it easy...

There are times I wish I could be satisfied with what I've accomplished, but I always want more which is, surely, a quick way to unhappiness. Because I don't need more. I have everything I need. 

So for today, I've decided to just be. I'm gonna take it easy baby.