Crossroads

Believe it or not, I started this blog over 12 years ago. It seems like yesterday, but also like forever ago. 

It took me days to make the blog site. I remember working on it while sitting at a Starbucks in Los Angeles. For the life of me, I can't remember why I was in LA but I was, and hours later, I had a skeleton with pictures and my first blog post. It felt wicked. It felt a bit subversive. It felt private, like airing my inner most thoughts. 

Plus, even if no one read it. It was all mine. 

It started with just one story, a story about me doing the sprinkler dance at the public defender gala. Like most of my writing, it was humorous and self deprecating. Looking back, that first story is not the most well written of my blogs but there's something there. Some might call it a voice, or an energy. 

Twelve years later, from one blog to hundreds and from two readers to well over a thousand every month, I am so proud of the effort I made to write a blog almost every other week for twelve years. It is not perfect. It's not meant to be. Over the years, my blog dealt with weight issues, mental health, my infertility journey, death, grief, love, justice and most of all, creativity. 

Sometimes, especially when I was grieving loved ones lost and my miscarriage, it felt heavy. I wondered who would want to read these sad, melancholy tales? 

Maybe I overshared some days, but I couldn't help it. But people suffered through with me and maybe found a light of hope in my writing and kept reading. So I kept writing. And writing. 

These days, most days, I keep on asking myself where to go and what to do. Most of my recent blog writings have focused on these questions. I've done so much. Two books, a podcast, my one class at a time MFA and many appearances. But still, I have to focus on my work as a deputy public defender. My day job is important to me. It made me who I am.

So I'm at a crossroads friends. Which way I go is yet to be seen. So tune in. It will be a roller coaster ride. Promise.