What do you want?

What do you want is a question that I keep asking myself. I'm getting older you see. My face lines are deepening. My back spasms are worsening. My anxiety is increasing then decreasing depending on the time of day and my dog's health. What you see is my public persona and everything seems hunky dory I know, but here, I tell the truth. 

Also decreasing with age, is my ability to handle bullshit. Right now, that ability is zero. I just don't see the point of being political. I'm just me. Look, I am friendly, creative, personable, empathetic and hopefully kind. But I'm also impatient and can get frustrated by others' unwillingness to pitch in. 

What I am saying here is that maybe I've reached my wits' end. I really don't want to answer to anyone but myself any longer. Yet, I've also worked very hard to be financially stable so in the end, pragmatism may win out.

But I also know that you can't grow without change. You have to take a risk to really see rewards. I know that I have the ability to do more. To see my work adapted to the stage and screen. I can see it in my mind's eye. 

And that is what I really want.