I wake up exactly at 4:44 am. It is an auspicious sign because the number 444 denotes positivity and is seen as a signal that one is on the right path.
Yet, am I on the right path? I almost feel as if I am waiting for something to happen as opposed to going out and aiming for my destiny. I've been in a kind of anti striving mode for a bit and I don't know whether it is working.
My whole life, I've been seeking, yearning and focused on a goal. First, survival after the mess I made of my life after dropping out of high school. Then, an undergraduate degree which took forever as I started in junior college. Then law school, which went by quick. Than my law career and after leaving corporate law, public defense. Then writing. Then podcasting and writing some more.
Everything's come together. I know it has. Life is good. Stable. But there's something else over the horizon. I can't see it, but I can feel it.
Has anyone else been feeling like this? It's almost as if something is waiting on the other side of a mountain and if I climb to see the view, then I will see what's over the mountain. But if I don't climb, and if I stay on the straight path, then I will never see it. I will miss it. It will pass me by. Or I will pass it by.
The truth is, I don't want to miss my chance at something big, real and true. Call me a drama queen, a dreamer, a striver, an eternal optimist, or even delusional perhaps, but I know I'm meant to do one great thing that the whole world will see and whether it's a play, a film or another book, I'm not sure. It's hazy, almost like it's not fully realized yet. It might happen or it might not.
Because right now, it's only a whisper. Just a whisper.
No comments:
Post a Comment