It's 4 am. I got up early because I couldn't sleep. I'm listening to the song Purple Rain by Prince. I love this song, it's hymn like, both joyful and sad.
Christmas always fills me with melancholy. You see years ago, my dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer around Christmas and died less than three weeks later. The time went so quick. Yet so slow. Like a movie you speed up then slow down. Frame by frame. That's how I remember it. I always wish I had moved home sooner. Before it was too late. Or maybe I wish I had never left in the first place?
Christmas also reminds me of being a kid and watching the rainbow of lights twinkling on the tree and opening a mountain of presents every Christmas morning. No matter their financial situation, my parents always filled the space under the tree with gifts.
I also have fond memories of going to my Tio Roland's house, my mom's brother and my godfather. Tio would always gift me and my sisters something small but sweet, a lifesavers gift pack that looked like a book or chocolate covered cherries that I would savor one at a time.
My Tio Roland passed years back as did my Tio Poncho and Tia Tilly. In fact, all of my mother's many siblings have passed away. They have gone to the heavens and I picture them all sitting in a room together reminiscing.
My mom was the baby in her family. The youngest. She's the only one left and believe me I know how lucky I am to have her.
I took Monday off this week and took a drive to Palm Springs to see my mom who was watching my twin sister's house while she was on vacation. I drove my mom and her friend Jan to lunch with my niece and then to the Brighton outlet in Cabazon. We had such a great time. And it made me realize something profound.
We only have this. These moments. This time is more precious than all the silver and gold in the world. Just try and remember that this Christmas. I know I will.
No comments:
Post a Comment