Yesterday

One of my favorite Beatles songs is "Yesterday". Although I was always more of a Lennon fan, there is something about this McCartney penned tune that gets me. I am always looking back, both as a person and as a writer, and yesterday does seem far away. But it also seems like yesterday.

We are our memories and I wish I had a better memory. I want to remember every moment of my life so I can put it to paper, but somehow I feel as if I'm not meant to remember EVERYTHING.

The things we don't remember sometimes say more about who we are. I enjoy writing about the absence of memory and the ambiguity of it. In the end, it is my story to tell and frame. Take my high school years as an example. There is plenty I don't remember. I don't remember sitting in class for almost four years until eventually I would leave five credits short of a diploma and take my GED.

Yet, I do remember a lot of ditching in Hollywood and Montclair. Montclair had a mall with a direct bus route from school and once we could drive, Hollywood had Nana's for monkey boots and Tower records.

I also remember a lot of sitting in the quad hanging out between classes and the smell of stolen hits off a cigarette and the dreadful feeling that high school would never end.

But end it did and not in the way I expected with my grandiose thoughts of a Claremont college education being replaced by a GED and a waitressing job (the result of me giving up and sleeping through my senior year).

Maybe that is why the song Yesterday speaks to many. It is bittersweet with regret and acceptance of the past.

And we have to accept the past right? All we have is our memories and our future path.

I didn't turn out so bad after all. It just took longer than I imagined. Imagine, now that's a great song. Told you I was a Lennon fan...