My way

I've always thought I had it all together. That I was put together. I had a good life, a nice house and family, and a fulfilling job. But recently, I've come to know one thing. I don't know shit, and I'm a mess. Everything I thought I knew is now being questioned because I'm shedding the light of truth and self awareness on it. I know I'm being opaque. For now, I have to be. I have to make sure that my perception is true. I am trying to honestly figure it all out. 

My goal in the next few months is to just take each day as it comes, and to work on myself, in whatever way I can. I want a peaceful and serene life. I deserve it. I know I can have it. I need to quiet my mind and find myself again. 

For years, essentially a decade now, I have been a spinning top. And I have finally stopped the spinning and am looking at myself in the mirror.

Ultimately, this self reflection is just about me. It's not about anyone else. And I need to do this because everything I've created, all my reactions, over reactions, compromises, and complications have been self imposed. I am the only one who can find myself again. I need to find the person I am meant to be. For me and only me.

I won't call this a mid life crisis, it's a mid life creation. A new me. And a new day. My way, as Sid once sang, I'm gonna do it my way.