330 am

It's 330 am and I can't sleep. I often get a topsy turvy stomach when I plan to travel and today is no exception. We are getting on a plane this morning to Kansas City and I just hope I settle down. 

At least I fell asleep early, around 8 pm, or was it 7? It's hard not to fall asleep early when you've been going since 5 am. 

When I was a kid, fifty-two seemed so far away. Eons. Yet, here I am. I don't feel my age most days, except when I try to get my overpacked Eiffel Tower patterned suitcase down the stairs and wreck my back. My mom's menthol rub helped. 

Age is a number is something people say. But it's also a signifier. It denotes what generation you're from. I'm Gen X of course, and it also denotes how much life you've lived and have left to live. 

In some ways, I wish I'd known how much I would yearn for my youth when I was older. My younger years were spent trying to get where I am and yes I am glad I'm here. I've done quite a lot, but I wish I'd appreciated my twenties and thirties more. I feel like all I did was rush around working at this or that. Trying to get here or there or everywhere.

Now that I'm in my fifties, I have some space and stability to really think about what I want out of the next decades to come. I suppose what I want most is to just be happy and content and most of all, well. 

By well I mean physically. It's time to focus on that too. It's easy to just sit and write all weekend, and read, you know how much I adore a good book, but I need to move. The chips and dips (some people eat bon bons but I prefer a salty chip and a creamy onion dill dip) are delicious but only in moderation. So my goal this next six months is to find a happy medium where I work, read, sit and move. Move it sister! It's time. You may not have all the time in the world to get there, but you have now.