Hello

I think "hello day" when my eyes pop open at 430 am. I wish I could back to sleep, but I can't. So I'm here with you, writing. Hello page. 

Yesterday, I had an overwhelming sense of anxiety. Like the walls were closing in. I forced myself out of it by working on my podcast for this Wednesday. 

This morning, I wondered, was my off kilter mood due to the heat, or perhaps my back which was bothering me, or maybe that I hadn't exercised. I'd swam two days this week, I am aiming for three on average, and I noticed that on the days I did swim, my mood was better.

What I'm trying to figure out I suppose is how to be happy. How to be content with the day. How to not just get lost in tasks, but how to get connected with people. How to be connected and content with myself. 

It's easiest for me to connect on a literary or music level. I love getting up early and writing while drinking my first or second coffee of the day with music in the background.

Maybe I just need to start out small. Go for happiness in small batches. An hour. Take my mom to breakfast then to the grocery store. Find joy in picking out produce and replenishing my Diet Coke supply. 

It's the little things that matter most perhaps. That's it. I think, focus on the little things, on the day to day. It will all be okay.