Funny girl

So I consider myself a funny girl. At times, maybe too funny. I sometimes ask myself, am I a clown? The reason I wonder is that at times I feel like I'm not taken seriously. And for those who know me well, they know I'm a super serious person a lot of the time and passionate about the issues I care about.

Now some of you all may be thinking, she is a joker, or no she's not, but I know it's an issue I've had my whole life. People often don't see the sadness and seriousness beneath my humor. Humor is a way to deflect. I know this. 

Yet, I so want to be taken seriously. But not too seriously. Is that a hard line to walk? Definitely. 

And as some know, I also have a spine of steel. Truth is, I don't get scared anymore. I lived too much of my life that way, so I've said screw it and try to live life with fearlessness. 

On Wednesday, I had a big motion I had to argue in court. I had spent weeks researching it and writing it. As I argued it, I got very emotional because I cared so much about how it went. It was a constitutional issue that's important to me in the work I do. I tried to show how much the decision mattered to both my clients and the broken criminal system I work within. 

That night, I realized that it's okay to be vulnerable in your argument. To show you care so much. And I used the case law to make my argument and I know it resonated at least a little. 

Maybe what I'm trying to say is that yes, I'm a funny girl, but don't forget that I'm also a fighter, and a warrior and a passionate person. Always and forever.