Book baby twin

Recently, I've been thinking of how hard I am on myself. I always cross examine myself. I suppose it's the drawback of being a defense attorney. Is it normal to ask yourself, why'd you do that? Or say that? 

I want to live a more peaceful life. Last night, I meditated but it didn't work very well. My back was hurting so much I could barely catch my breath. But meditation helped a little. I did sleep. Other than when the dogs started barking at midnight, I didn't wake up until now at 4:15 am. 

I've been really stressed recently, trying to figure out what will happen with my memoir Tales of an Inland Empire Girl if it goes out of print. It is my book baby. It took me over 15 years to write and publish my memoir. And my small press publisher passed away recently. His memorial is this weekend. His press will likely not continue unfortunately and in losing him, I lost one of my dear friends as well as a huge supporter of my work. 

Frank Kearns of Los Nietos Press was why my book went to print. I remember him pushing me to finish my final manuscript. We went back and fourth on edits for the final manuscript for months via email. He was so kind, lovely and a wonderful writer himself. I'm so sad he's passed, but the heavens have a beautiful scribe. 

I had avoided thinking of the book for a couple months. I had twenty or so copies. But then, I thought, I have to deal with this. I approached a couple of small presses and got no response quickly and because this is just a super time sensitive issue, I started panicking. Would I have to self publish it? 

Then I approached a press owning good friend and he said okay. He would help me and release a new second edition on his press. My book baby would not go out of print. I spent Sunday gathering the original manuscript, the original photos we had used and the cover art, and my friend even agreed to design a revised cover. 

After, I thought to myself, was I too much? Should I have asked?

But then, I thought, you asked with grace, it's okay. 

So there we have it. My book will live on. Tales of an Inland Empire Girl will have a second edition. A twin! Now if that's not ironic . . .