Mad world

It has been a mad world recently. First, the election and then my work life was very chaotic. It's always chaotic but this was more than usual. Then, I had a funeral to attend for my mother in law's best friend. She was 96.

I think it's the unknown that scares me. The what if? 

I have recently realized what's important. It's not work, or even creative pursuits, but my family. It is really all there is. 

At the funeral on Tuesday, we did the rosary refrain that's part of the Catholic tradition at a memorial mass. At times, they last hours and hours. This rosary was only an hour but I found it so comforting to say the prayers over and over like a chant, rosary in hand.

I am not a per se religious person, and consider myself more spiritual, but I have always loved the community and comfort church can bring, and when I made my confirmation at 36 in San Francisco, that was why.

Family is like that too. Whatever your family is. And for me, it's my husband, the moms and my sisters. When my dogs arrive, they will expand that family. They're coming in December and I can't wait to see their furry faces.

It's what I need right now I think. It's what I yearn for. I need comfort. I need joy. I need to know who loves me and who really cares and who will be there in these mad times. I need the certainty of knowing who will check in on me and fight for me and be present for me. Always.