The days after

The days after Christmas can be melancholy. This year, we have Friday, Saturday and Sunday. That's a whole weekend. I don't feel melancholy, but I do feel restless.

Then I found a book to read. "The Road to Tender Hearts". I always know by the first chapter. After reading the first page of this book, I thought, I'm in. Plus the title. "Tender Mercies" is one of my favorite movies with Robert Duvall. Anything with a heart in the title is great too. The film "Crazy Heart" for example. And they're all about drunks.

I'm a drunk. I inherited it from my father. I was very good at it and it worked until it didn't. But I have to say, the longer I'm sober, and I'm just at 104 days, the more I see why I drank. Life is hard sober. People can be annoying or downright mean. I think I do have a tender heart in my soul. And I let people mess with it because I could drink my sorrows away.

But no more. This next phase of my life will be me. Just dealing with my shit and not taking anyone else's. That's it. I've decided. Sober JEM is gonna be a little or maybe a lot different. 

And that will be a good thing.