Saturday, November 16, 2024

The Key

Yesterday, I did a keynote at CSUSB. I'd done speeches, closing arguments, performances, and workshops, but I had never done a keynote. It took me weeks to write it. Not that the writing took weeks because I've always been a relatively quick scribe. What took so long was thinking about it and figuring out the structure, and themes. 

What I realized after reading keynotes, commencement speeches and how to musings, was that every keynote needs a theme and the tone is conversational. This conference was about Latinas rising up. So the theme was built in already, but I wanted to tweak it. I wanted to talk about what is a Latina? And how do we dream big and shutter out the sabotaging voices, both internal and external. 

I used to often struggle, although may not have shown it, with imposter syndrome, and I still do occasionally. It's probably because I am consistently trying to get outside my comfort zone and to challenge myself. Recently, I was in a story showcase at the Colony Theater. I was completely out of my element with this LA centric cast that had some great storytellers. I felt intimidated and off kilter at first. Then, quickly, I made some connections and felt comfortable. 

In the end, I think life is about making connections. And to get to speak to a group of academically focused Latinas at CSUSB was a gift. 

Here is an excerpt from the introduction to my keynote if you're interested: 

Excerpt keynote CSUSB 11-15-24 Latinas Rising Conference:

"I started out in junior college after dropping out of Chaffey high school 5 credits short in 1989.


And I tell you this so you understand, that I see you. I remember begging for rides to school, because I never had a working car. I remember choosing between class and that extra waitressing shift to pay my rent. I spent all my years until 30 years of age in survival mode. 


I remember those years well. I still feel that blue collar ness in my soul, my mom was a waitress and my dad a trucker, so it's ingrained in me. I am an inland empire girl.


But let's get to the keynote.


I have to say that at times, I ask myself, how do I get myself into these situations?


As a rule, I usually say yes to things so when a fellow writing friend suggested she put me in the hat for this speech, I, of course, said yes. Then I stressed. 


What will I say? Why do they want to hear from me? But that's the saboteur voice in my head. The voice that says I'm an imposter. Don't listen to that voice will be my first piece of advice. 


Because that voice is wrong. Plus, if I think about it, I have a lot to say  and having something to say is half the game in life. The other half is saying it, so here I am."


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