Don't Ask

I'm asking myself, why can't I focus on my next book project? And basically, I've realized, that I'm a sleep deprived and aching back mess. 

You see, for the last months, my shih tzu Chewbacca and I have a week work routine. It's very dysfunctional. He starts meowing (yeah I know he's a dog but he's so whiney lately that he sounds like a cat) about 11 pm. Now by that time, I've usually been asleep for two hours. And hubby is snoring. 

So I get up. I carry Chewbaca downstairs because he is very sight lacking, and kiss his face. Then I put him down and pull out the futon and put on West Wing or Succession or Gilmore Girls on the TV. Then we go back and fourth for a couple hours. Chewbaca barks, whines in his cat like way and usually eats and then he goes outside at some point. This is pretty much every night from 11 pm to 1 am. 

Of course, around 3 am, I pad by him quietly and sneak upstairs and try to sleep for a few more hours. Then I have to get up and get to work! It's so hard. But I am kinda used to it.

Plus, Chewbacca is definitely not himself. He is perpetually mad at me for making him take his meds. He does not feel well. He needs a groom but the last few times triggered attacks so I'm holding off. It's like taking care of a very surly, very small and furry baby, but he's a dog. He's also my everything. I love him so. So will carry on.