To be

Today I had jury duty in San Bernardino. It was a rough night with Chewbacca. He's struggling with his health and it's hard. It's been two nights in a row, with only a few hours of good sleep.

Groggy, I drank two double expressos and got on the road by 7:30 am. When I got inside at 8 am, there was already a line. I tried to multi task by calling the vet, and checking my work's voicemail system. 

I started my master class' Shakespeare homework once I was checked in. Stubbornly, I refused to cart the five pound textbook with me so instead, I squinted at a screenshot of act one of Hamlet. And squinted some more. I thought about ghosts and delusions. What they mean or don't mean.

Then I started promoting my podcast. I felt as if I was really using the waiting time in a productive way. Then boom, I was in a courtroom. It felt familiar but not. I knew as a deputy public defender that I was very unlikely to be sat as a juror on a multi-week murder case. 

I was right. Later that afternoon, I was released, free to handle my calendar tomorrow which I still needed to work on prepping. You see, my work as a deputy public defender never really ends. What I can't get to today, must be done eventually, jury duty or no jury duty. To be or not to be is not an option. I must do. And do again. And again.