The Writer

I've always said that as a memoir writer, my character, the narrator, the protagonist, or whatever you call her, is not me. It's merely a version of me that I choose to let you the reader see. Especially when I'm recreating my younger self, I am definitely not that person any longer. So in some ways, the use of first person is an illusion. 

That said, this blog is probably the closest you as a reader will get to knowing who I really am. That's why I do love the use of first person. It's intimate. You're often in my head. Hearing my innermost thoughts. But still, this person on the page is not me because I'm more than that. I contain mountains, rivers and streams. I'm the daughter of a Caucasian truck driving Montana born cowboy, and a Chicana waitress. They both loved music and dancing, as I do. There it is again. The I. The eye. It is all seeing at times. I've been working on a YA fiction novel and the use of different persons and perspectives in fiction is perplexing to me. I'll figure it out or I might just write it in first person. 

Back to the separation between the writer and the narrator. It's an important one. One that takes years to understand. I think I finally get it after all this time. Then it slides away from me and I have to remind myself. You are the writer. You are a writer, in your very soul.