Sometimes

Sometimes, all you can do is listen to your dog snore. As you listen to his labored breathing, you wonder how much time he has left. We are all terminal. I know this. They say dogs, with a much shorter life span, teach us how to grieve. After my oldest dog Frodo passed last year, the thing that kept me going was my dog Chewbacca. He is a weird, neurotic, almost human eyed shih tzu. When he looks deep into my eyes, we see each other. 

Truth is, I always get a bit melancholy around this time. I miss my dad. It's been almost 17 years, yet it feels like yesterday. I changed so much after my dad passed. My entire life came into sharp focus. When he died, I took a big leap off a cliff and came back home to the Inland Empire. And yes, I still stagnated for a year at a big firm, but eventually I found myself and my career as a deputy public defender and later, as a writer.

The writing is calling me. All you can do sometimes is listen to the call. It's telling me to jump again. To take a big risk. To understand that sometimes, today is all we have. If my dad was here I know what he would say. He would say, "You're a smart girl Jenny. You'll make it happen."

We only have what we make of it. This life. The now. It's why we're all here. To catch our dreams and live them fully. And truly.

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