Doing

Often, I am asked how I do so much. And I don't really have an answer. 

I think the only way I accomplish everything I want to do creative wise is that it doesn't feel like work. Unlike my day job as a deputy public defender, where I know my duties to my client must be met, and I feel the stress and pressure, with my side gigs there's no pressure. Everything is done because I want to do it.  

I've recently realized I write best without an end goal in mind. I do well on assignment so taking a class helps. And I'm a quick writer. I've learned not to overthink it and to trust my own editing and reader gut about whether it works. I know when it's good usually. And my best pieces story wise come out close to fully formed. Essays on the other hand take more revision. 

Another example is my podcast. I really enjoy reading the books and interviewing people. Also, I truly love doing the promotion and creating the graphics. Thankfully, I have been able to cut down on the prep after more than fifty interviews and so I read the books and just go with the flow conversation wise. I try to be present and listen.

The exception to the "no pressure" creative wise is when I plan events. I've cut down on them because I know my tendency to over aim for perfection. And I hate disappointing myself and others and there is no perfection with curating literary readings. You never know how many will show up and how it will go. And I do get very stressed out. Very very stressed out. That said, I love literary events and every single one has been a joy the day of. The stress is in the lead up.  

So for now, I am focusing on the writing, the podcasting and my own performing while leaving the event side for when I retire perhaps. I also love applying for big events like AWP where they do the infrastructure and this year, I'm on two panels. 

I guess that the ultimate answer to how I do everything I do is that I'm a hard worker and very obsessive at times and often work at 4 am on projects. When I focus on something, I lose myself. I disappear. It's a blessing and a curse. But I'm a lucky person to be able to do what I do. I adore being friends with the writers I admire. 

Ultimately, it's a gift to be part of a community I so love rather than just a reader fan girl. Writers are the best people in the universe. And they make great friends for life.