Feeling it

So I'm starting to realize some things about myself. My feelings get hurt easily and I often react immediately. I can be overly emotional and even snappy. I don't want to be like that anymore.

This I know, I'm too intense at times and bossy and obsessive. Lest you think I am too hard my myself, I also know my strengths. I'm caring, empathetic, organized, prepared, and I try to be kind. But what I want to be is laid back and easy. 

How do I make myself more relaxed? I want to be able to let things go.

What am I so anxious? What am I looking for? What am I really yearning for? My purpose? It's not at work. My job is my job. I do love the work, yet it is not how I define myself any longer. That leaves a question: how do I define myself? Truth be told, I'm not really sure, but I feel most like the "real" me in literary and academic spaces. I feel as if I can be my natural, organic self there. 

I think the point of all of this blathering on is that I'm really talking to myself. My goal this week is to not over focus or obsess over petty things. I need to be kind to others and even kinder to myself. 

Life is too short. It goes by quick, so quick that you can miss the important moments if you aren't present. Thus, I'm going to be there in the moment just being me. Feeling it. Taking it in.