The Race

It's been a little bit. I went through a bout with Covid and have been in bed for ten days. Today was the first day I felt relatively normal. It's odd, because I slept so much, but I'm still tired. 

It made me realize a few things. I'm so lucky in so many ways. I don't have kids, but I have a great husband and family and friends. So many people checked in on me. I am also privileged to have a job that offers Covid time. I recovered and tomorrow, I go back to work. 

During the height of the pandemic, I was so scared. More for my mom and mother in law. But when I finally got Covid, it was over two years in and a lot of the fear was gone. Until I started coughing and felt as if my airway was closing. I made it through. But it made me think of the multiplicity of universe theory and I wondered if, in another universe, I didn't make it.

Not the most productive thing to think about and a morbid idea I know...

Still, that fear, of death, of dying, of not reaching my dreams, is what made me finally take my writing career to another level a couple of years back. Because I knew with certainty that my regret would be profound if I passed away before publishing my book. 

So I did it. Finally.

What is next? That is what haunts me now. I really have no clue. I'm asking the universe to show me. Where do I go now with all of this? How do I find my way? It's one thing to publish a book, but how do I find my path to my true passion?

What I have decided, in the midst of my uncertainty, is that I will focus on my body and mind and on taking care of myself health wise.

My goal is to start exercising and cutting down on my vices. Managing my stress. Because wherever this road leads me, the thing I do know for sure is that I want to be able to run the race.

Or at least give a good power walk.