You can't always get what you want. You can't. It's not always what the universe wants for you. In other words, it's not meant to be. Sometimes it takes years to understand why.
When I went through in vitro years ago, I wanted it so bad. So bad that I couldn't see any other reality in my future. When everything failed, when I had no more options of conceiving a child naturally, it devastated me. I really thought for a bit that my life was over. That I didn't want to be here anymore.
But then with time and therapy, I realized that I still had a great life and a wonderful husband, fantastic friends and family and my beloved dogs.
Now looking back, I totally understand why the world had something different in store for me. Having my books, finishing them and putting them out into the world, along with performing and interviewing other writers, is my life's purpose. It was meant to be all along. I just couldn't see why back then.
Are there moments where I wish I had a little girl with curly ringlets and Adrian's eyes? Of course. Maybe in another world and universe she exists.
But for the present, the here and now, I only have this world. This reality. And I'm good. I'm good.
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