Musings

I'm laying in bed with my shih tzu Frodo by my side. He's getting old. His back bothers him. His knee gives out. But he still loves his walk and uses both legs to trot and hop like a rabbit to accommodate for his crooked gait. He's such a grumpy old dog, but I love him so.

Like Frodo, I'm getting older. I'm not as spry as I used to be. I can't work crazy hours at work. I get grumpy. 

Instead, what makes me happy are the simple things. Laying in the sun. Floating on my unicorn blow up in the pool. Writing in bed. Making crepes for dessert for my husband. 

I don't need a lot. That's what I'm starting to realize. Not a fancy car. Not even nice shoes or clothes. I just need my health, my eyesight and a computer to write. 

The pandemic taught me to love being home. It made me realize I have a strong work ethic and that I can easily work from home. I'm disciplined. I finished two books dammit. With my force of will, I can move mountains. I can be anything I want.

Don't ever forget it. I tell myself, I am powerful beyond measure. I say it over and over to myself. Again and again. 

I'll remember these lessons forever. These lessons will help me make my way in a world that I see clearly now and do work that matters, but in a way that puts my own purpose first. 

That is true freedom you see. Being beholden to no one but yourself for your self worth, productivity and happiness.

(Inspired by the poem-Our Deepest Fear By Marianne Williamson which states in part, "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us...")