Monday, January 10, 2022

Goodbye Goodbye

Oingo Boingo has a song called "Goodbye Goodbye" that's fitting. They sing:

"Oh, I know something 

About the ways of loving 
And I tell you, baby, 
That something's wrong 
Look to the sky above and the mud below 
Something drives me crazy, got to got to get away 
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye 
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye!"

Alcohol has always been my crutch. My go to. My first love in a way. Since I was a kid along with cigarettes. But it's time. Gotta say goodbye.

No more. It's too much. It's not fun anymore.  I'm too old. And tired. 

At some point, I've had to ask myself, what have you done for me? Lately? Nothing.

Everything I've achieved is through coffee and hard work. My writing. My law career. My marriage. None of those things work when I'm drunk.

And believe me, seriously, me drunk at fifty is not pretty. I lose myself. I'm vacant. A zombie. A silly girl with unfocused eyes. Trying to reclaim her youth. Not realizing her time is now. 

So goodbye. 

I mean it this time, goodbye goodbye. 



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