Oingo Boingo has a song called "Goodbye Goodbye" that's fitting. They sing:
"Oh, I know something
About the ways of loving
And I tell you, baby,
That something's wrong
Look to the sky above and the mud below
Something drives me crazy, got to got to get away
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye!"
Alcohol has always been my crutch. My go to. My first love in a way. Since I was a kid along with cigarettes. But it's time. Gotta say goodbye.
No more. It's too much. It's not fun anymore. I'm too old. And tired.
At some point, I've had to ask myself, what have you done for me? Lately? Nothing.
Everything I've achieved is through coffee and hard work. My writing. My law career. My marriage. None of those things work when I'm drunk.
And believe me, seriously, me drunk at fifty is not pretty. I lose myself. I'm vacant. A zombie. A silly girl with unfocused eyes. Trying to reclaim her youth. Not realizing her time is now.
So goodbye.
I mean it this time, goodbye goodbye.
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