Watching speaking learning

I've been working on speaking my truth. Not just in my writing. In my everyday life. Observing more. Saying less. And when I do speak up, I'm cognizant how much words matter.

I often talk to fill the space. Especially on my podcast or when I'm interviewed myself, that's often good, and to be truthful, it's just me, I get on a roll and I'm off. That's my personality.

It's important to keep a show moving. No dead air.

But what I'm also realizing is that I need to pause. Take a breath. Observe. Listen. 

Especially in life, versus on air. Observe. Listen. Don't react. Ask a question. Listen. 

Just watch.

It sounds simple. But for many of us who live in this 2 minute sound bite of a world it is not. I'm also learning to listen to my intuition, and that I have good instincts when they come from a pure place, and to act on them.

Reminder, writing itself for me is an act of breathing. I've always said I lose myself when I write, and I think I know what that means now. It means I lose my ego, I'm all consciousness when I write, in the act of being and in the moment. 

That's why it usually feels so easy to me, just to be. It's my purpose. My inner purpose. The act of writing itself is it you see, the joy in that. The results are cool, but secondary because it's the writing itself. That's what matters.

So I'll continue to work on watching the signs, on stillness, and silence, and quieting my mind even in the most chaotic places, such as my work environment in criminal court. 

Interestingly, I also feel at home there, even more so than at the office, because I crave chaos at times, it feels like home, normal. 

Yet I know I need to work on not being so reactive to it. That way I can be a more effective, present and calming presence.

Quiet my mind, breathe, watch, listen, learn. And write. Always.