Panorama of San Bernardino

Friday, August 31, 2012

The Greater Fool

I just finished watching season one of HBO's show "The Newsroom".  The show is about believing in the pursuit of truth.  Will, the anchor, is called a greater fool for doing so.  A greater fool is defined on the show as someone who thinks they will succeed where others have failed.  Think Don Quixote (the ultimate literary fool).  It is about going for your passion and doing what you believe in, no matter the cost.

It made me think, am I a greater fool?

Some would say by being a public defender I am.  Being the voice for the voiceless is one of my passions.  I love and believe in what I do.

Yet, I have to ask myself, is it my greatest passion?

I think not said the cat.

When I was five, I used to dream about being a writer, not a lawyer.

When I was the editor-in-chief of Mt. SAC's newspaper "the Mountaineer", I considered applying for a degree in journalism.  After looking at the average pay I changed my mind.  I could make more money bartending and waitressing.  I applied to UCR and chose English Literature as a major because it seemed more practical.

My newspaper professor Gina, who was a former journalist for the Washington Post, never spoke to me after graduation.  Gina had higher hopes for me than I had for myself.  Gina had entered my story in a national journalism contest and when it won second place, she told me she thought I should be a journalist.  She urged me to apply to the journalism school at Columbia University.

I couldn't visualize it.  New York?  It seemed impossible.

Sometimes we make choices in our lives and it takes us down a different path.  Would I have found my greatest passion earlier if I had went down the scary road rather than the safe one?  Where would I be?

You cannot second guess your life.  I cannot change the past.  But, what I can do is visualize who I want to be and what I want to be.

And, I have realized that I want to be a greater fool, no matter how desperate and foolhardy it may be.

My pen is my only sword.  Wish me luck.

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