Panorama of San Bernardino

Monday, June 2, 2014

Oh Baby (Part II)

There are baby pictures everywhere in the office.  I walk by a collage containing dozens of pictures of infants with captions like "thank you for making our dream come true."

As I sit in the waiting room of the fertility office waiting for my second ultrasound, I pray in my head hoping God can hear my private thoughts.  I am willing him to listen.  It is a truism to say that I want this baby more than anything.  The last week I have been coaxing the baby to grow.  I wake up in the middle of the night and rub my stomach and whisper to myself, "you can do it".

This has been a chaotic and draining process.  I thought getting pregnant would be the hardest part, but no, staying pregnant is even harder.

Today they will again do a transvaginal ultrasound to see the baby.  Please let there be something there.  A tiny pebble and a heartbeat for me to hear.

I promise to not ask for anything this big again.

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