There are baby pictures everywhere in the office. I walk by a collage containing dozens of pictures of infants with captions like "thank you for making our dream come true."
As I sit in the waiting room of the fertility office waiting for my second ultrasound, I pray in my head hoping God can hear my private thoughts. I am willing him to listen. It is a truism to say that I want this baby more than anything. The last week I have been coaxing the baby to grow. I wake up in the middle of the night and rub my stomach and whisper to myself, "you can do it".
This has been a chaotic and draining process. I thought getting pregnant would be the hardest part, but no, staying pregnant is even harder.
Today they will again do a transvaginal ultrasound to see the baby. Please let there be something there. A tiny pebble and a heartbeat for me to hear.
I promise to not ask for anything this big again.